Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Must Be Working For The Wynn Trade

Well today was my first casino group interview for a position at the Wynn. Group interview, yeah.. I know, right? I got there early as usual but was locked out and waited for someone else to show. Little by little the Vegas girls lined up, dressed in their best slutty club wear. I did not know that "business attire" meant wear that cute little number I bought on sale at Bebe last month. Oh and my 7 inch heels just incase they think that I'm NOT ready to party. I really don't know if this is what they are looking for here in Vegas, hopefully they take my fine slacks into account.

Well, I was awkwardly first. I had to stand in front of the interviewers with my back to everyone in the room stating why, in my own words, I think I am unique. What in Neil Diamond's name is that question all about anyways. Am I supposed to do a back bend and tell them that most people don't have metal legs?!

Anyway, hopefully they will overlook these:

And choose me instead! I mean, who wouldn't hire THIS face????

And even if I don't get the coveted position at the Wynn, I always have my plan B to fall back on. Right before my interview, as I was killing time in the casino, I discovered that you can make approximately 9 cents an hour roaming the aisles of slot machines and pressing the "cash out" button on machines that people have neglected their petty change. This may only work at the posh places, where people wouldn't even let 9 cents whisper in their ears. Unfortunately, I ended up sacrificing 5 of my free 9 cents to another Monkees slot machine that I was again SURE would pay out. Goddamn you Michael Nesmith. This is all your fault!!!!!

When all was said and done at the Wynn, I decided to make my way West, or whatever, to the Fashion Show Mall to treat myself to something delicious. Red Velvet Cafe is full of delicious yummeries for vegans like myself. My biggest worry was choosing from the tiramisu, blueberry coconut cream cake, and the peanut butter and jelly tart. Woe is me. Actually woe really was me, because I hate making decisions like that, how can I leave behind one yummy for another??? If my stomach capacity would allow it I would have gotten all three! I opted instead for their vegan buffalo ranch chicken wrap, and a rhubarb soda, followed by a lovely tiramisu which I brought home to indulge in without wearing any pants.

Well that was my day today. I am now sitting on my couch with two cats, no pants, and the mind to devour all the cake within reach.


  1. Sorry. But. You neglected to mention to me that you were PANTSLESS wen you ate said tiramisu. Also, that photo of the buffalo chicken thing makes me wanna devour your children.